Yesterday, Saturday, December 28, 2019, Oklahoma football got their shit kicked in.
In all honesty, I don’t know how to describe such a phenomenon literally. Does the foot surge into the ill-fated ass and smash the small intestine? Or do we assume the victim shit themselves first, then had their lifeless, brown-stained body pooch punted?
Regardless, I at least know this: it’d feel a lot like LSU’s 63-28 win over the Sooners in the College Football Playoff semifinals.
It was a loss that’ll live in the record books for a long time. Joe Burrow, a tall Ohioan with sleepy eyes, amassed 515 total yards and 8 touchdowns. Justin Jefferson, a lanky Louisianan with expressive hair, had 14 catches for 227 yards and 4 touchdowns. And K’Lavon Chaisson, a deceptively-thick Texan with a reassuring smile, had 6 tackles and 2 sacks.
There was a fleeting moment in the first quarter where the game seemed competitive, after a spectacular CeeDee Lamb catch led to a 3-yard touchdown from Kennedy Brooks. But after touchdowns to Terrance Marshall, Jr. and Jefferson sandwiched a missed pass interference call on LSU, OU’s day was basically done. Before long, a crushing 49-14 halftime deficit was looking them in the face.
This makes three straight playoff losses for Oklahoma, and four in the last five years. Baker Mayfield, Kyler Murray, and Jalen Hurts all departed Norman without a victory in college football’s controversial main event, falling in order to resident Toho creations Clemson, Georgia, Alabama, and LSU.
Every part of the 2019 offense was worse than 2018. Hurts never measured up to the heights of Murray, the running back room lost Trey Sermon during the season, and no receivers replaced Hollywood Brown’s downfield production. Even the offensive line, consistently one of the strengths of Riley’s offenses, took a step back after losing four NFL draft picks.
And while the defense took big steps forward, it was clear the foundation is still shaky. The secondary was young and thin for the fourth straight year, leading to some horrific reps. And the pass rush still left something to be desired outside of Neville Gallimore and Ronnie Perkins.
Because of this, I consider 2019 to be Lincoln Riley’s best coaching job of his OU tenure. Hurts’ limited passing ability hamstrung the offense at the end of the season, putting further pressure on Riley’s playcalling. And to his credit, he helped wheel a deeply flawed team into the College Football Playoff — an accomplishment that shouldn’t be overstated.
In fact, you could argue that the defining legacy of 2019 Oklahoma was its tenacity in spite of itself. These Sooners were gashed repeatedly by Kansas State, and almost found a way to come all the way back. And the defense discovered its extra gear when god and physics betrayed the offense against TCU. You’d be hard-pressed to find an Oklahoma victory more hilariously gratifying than the comeback in Waco, when OU (I wish to remind you) dug its ass out of a 28-3 hole to beat a mean-as-hell Baylor team.
My advice to you is this: in sports or in life, enjoy every little moment. Crack a smile. Do a dance. Spike the ball. Rush the field. Because no matter how tough you think you are, there’s a monster hiding under a bridge somewhere with sharper claws, longer fangs, and a meaner disposition. No one in this world is immune from a king-sized ass-whooping. And if you think you are, it’s closer than you think.
Never treat failure as a reason to care less. If anything, it’s a reason to care more. Bruises will heal. Or at least I hope they do.